About four years ago, my daughter, in a fit of teen angst, handed me a small box. On the top of the box was angrily scrawled: Do not open until February 24, 2024.
I still have that box, unopened, and I am anxiously looking forward to that date.
I came across it the other day and that box reminded me of that popular trend about writing letters to your past self trying to impart some wisdom that you had gained that I suppose you wished you had been told earlier.
I am not sure I would have heeded any advice from my future self, but since today is my birthday, I am going to indulge myself a little with one of those letters.
Dear me:
Hey! Greetings from the future! I just discovered that it is really strange to start off a letter to yourself. I am torn whether to prove I am you by giving you some tidbit we never told anyone (like how you cry every time you hear Motley Crue’s Home Sweet Home), tell you the name of your current girlfriend (which, by the way, I know you do not have one right now), or whether to just launch in knowing you may or may not believe this anyway.
In the end, I suppose there is no better proof that I am you than the fact I am writing this out as the opening to this letter. That really should tell you all that you need to know.
You are in a tough place right now. I know it does not seem that tough and it seems that everything is going pretty well, but things are not what you pretend they are.
You are spending money that you do not have. You are looking for sex, not love. You are chasing an idea without having any idea what that idea even is. You are lonely, isolated, confused, searching, arrogant, broke, hungry, and spiritually bankrupt.
But I have some good news: I think it is going to all work out.
I say “I think” because we are still on the road to finding that out. Plus there is the whole problem that me telling you these things may mess it all up, but I digress…
What I want you to know most is that no matter how bleak it looks right now it will get better.
You will never get a job that you apply for, but you will always have a great job.
You will fail to get into business school twice but earn your MBA from your top school.
You will fail to find a good relationship until you stop trying so hard.
As you have just learned, dreams are sometimes elusive and you cannot always achieve what you think you should, but our life is so much better than what those dreams would have brought.
We have not always made the right decisions but I only have one regret: stop taking yourself so seriously. Take more chances and refuse to let fear lead you. Do more dangerous things. Stop letting the fear of the consequences cripple your intuition. Move to California. I do not know how that will turn out, but I really wish that I did. You should find out.
We have a really amazing, wonderful life and you marry a woman and have a family you cannot possibly conceive of right now. Never forget how lucky you are to have them. Never forget – not even for a minute.
When you wrestle with that question, the one that keeps you up at night, know that the reason you can never solve it is because you are not ready for the answer:
Perfection is not something that only some people grasp. It is something that only some people waste their lives chasing.
Perfection is not something to be strived for. It is the enemy, designed to keep us from grasping the truth: happiness and satisfaction are found in the imperfections that create the fabric of our relationships. Each of us imperfectly perfecting each other.
That will make sense to you one day.
I love you. I love you not because you are me, but because of the person you are struggling to become. Keep fighting, keep reading, keep searching, and keep living your life. Do not get discouraged – it all works out. Follow Grandma’s advice and one day you will get to see this world that we have made.
It is worth the wait.
Fifteen32nds 